Squolf 2025 Enters the Final Stretch
I would be remiss if I did not start by acknowledging Jon Cheng’s (17th) remarkable hole-in-one double eagle on Santa Teresa’s Par 4 12th. A blind tee shot over a grove of trees and into a hole over 300 yards away, it will almost certainly go down in history as the greatest Squolf shot ever. Despite his fleeting chances of making the Jorn Cup, I think we can all agree we would trade our place in the standings for Jon’s accomplishment in an instant. He will be the cause of lost balls for decades, as we all attempt to recreate the magic Jon conjured up on that fateful day at Santa Teresa. In the words of the superstar himself, “not even sure if it was real or if i hit into the group in front of me and they put it in the hole. But im taking the ace regardless”.
End of June Update
Just 4 more rounds of golf to climb the leaderboard and cement your status as a Legend in the Squolf history books. June was a month of mostly status quo, with the least leaderboard movement yet this year. There were a few stand out performances, including Javier Chew’s (3rd) monstrous 62.5 points in the month, which helped him jump 7 positions and enter the playoff conversation.
Teeny Weenies Massive Victory Over Lengthy Legends
Not much to say… Short Kings took care of business and defeated the Gay Giants 10-6 in the Squolf’s first ever Ryder Cup.
A look at the Top 8
Despite absolutely no predictive analytics background, I can confidently say Alonso Sainz (1st), Cal Bridges (2nd), and Javier Chew (3rd) are all essentially locks for the playoffs. As a reminder, your top 4 majors and top 4 monthlies determine your final points. Taking this into account, Shaun Tan (5th) and Jacob Parsons (6th) should be looking over their shoulders as both of these individuals have over 75% of their total scores coming from 4 standout major performances.
Late Season Risers
Don’t look now but Michael Fan (10th) is gearing up to make a late season push into the playoffs. July is the first month he has managed to crack the top 10, and with 2 zeros to drop he’s positioned well to continue his climb up the leaderboard. Van Do (13th) doubled his season total in June with a phenomenal performance at the Ryder Cup. Not to mention, Van dusted Alonso in a fair and square 1v1 race (with absolutely no controversies at all, whatsoever). Could this be the beginning of Van’s glorious rise or a fleeting moment of hope?
The Few, The Proud, The Fight for Sixteenth
Now that Ricky Vera has officially been placed on the 60-Day Injured List, the battle to stay out of 16th is on. Can Jon, Nigel Borromeo (16th), and Nate Schmitz (15th) break their Majors Curse at the July Scramble? One good haul of points could catapult them from the fight for sixteenth to the fringes of playoffs.
A Miracle Finish
A single player has scored more than 50 points in a month thrice this season: March-Wesley Warren (11th), May-Alonso, June-Javier. Although the odds are stacked against those on the bottom, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel. I may not be a believer in the Lord, but I do believe in miracles. The gap between last place and 8th place is exactly the number of points Javier accumulated in June. Google Gemini projects the cut line being at 129.5 points, but Google Gemini also once told me a banana is not a fruit. Keep up the good fight.
Hwaiting! The Jeong brothers are on an absolute tear to begin the Squolf 2025 League. Brian Jeong (T-1st) gave himself a healthy chance of making it into the JORN Cup before departing to the motherland by shooting a net 18 over at Los Lagos. Despite the fact that he is set to miss the next 2 majors, he has put himself in a comfortable position, securing a 1st place victory in the March Scramble and putting on a dominant performance alongside Alonso Sainz (9th) at the April Shamble with a net score of 73. Justin Jeong (T-1st) has been a model of consistency - finishing 5th or better at every single event thus far and is currently in 4th at Los Lagos with 6 left to play. The kid is a natural and despite already ridding himself of 11 mulligans, continues to exceed expectations. Three veterans- Cal Bridges (3rd), Kankshat Patel (4th), and Wesley Warren (5th)- round out the top 5.
The season is young and there is much, much more golf to be had before the ultimate JORNer lifts their trophy. Handicaps have been adjusted, rules have been changed, but one thing remains the same: golfing with your friends is a fucking blast. We all have our own ways of enjoying our time out there. Whether it’s taking a bottle of Hennessy to the face or lining up every one-footer, we all are out there to have a good time. For 5 hours we get to put our phones away, the troubles of life fade away, and we subject ourselves to a new kind of mental turmoil as we do our best to string together multiple good shots in a row.
As the season progresses and the pressure builds, the stakes for each event become more and more dire. A missed 5 footer only counts as 1 seemingly insignificant stroke on the scorecard, but it could mean the difference between JORNing or edging come September. This Sunday, the chance to etch your name in the Squolf history book continues.
Tilden Park Golf Club in Berkeley, California represents the first true challenge of the 2025 season. With a slope rating of 124, the steep elevation changes and undulating greens will frustrate even the most composed of golfers. Squolf’s May Major will be a 2 man best ball with a grudge match component: each team of 2 will compete in match play directly against the other twosome in their tee time. Your grudge match opponents will be determined via draft occuring at Tilden’s first tee box, only moments before the Major officially begins. Draft order is determined by reverse cumulative team ranking and is listed below.
Remember: match play is for the grudge match component only. Your team's overall score (as determined by best ball) still plays for the overall winner. So putt everything out and don't give up on any strokes, even if your opponents have already won the hole! A breakdown of the points can be found here.